Why should I have to take this? Two children, little boys who for some reason seems to believe that they are men, whining because they dont think that I pay them enough attention.

Why the hell should I pay attention to someone who doesnt listen, who does NOT respect my decisions or me, someone who is not family when I am spending all of my waking time fighting. Fighting to stay afloat. Trying desperately to keep my head above the surface. If I give in or get distracted for just a second, then I will fall. And I wont be able to get back up again.

Worse and worse. The shadows are back and everything is just.. frelled.
For crying out loud, not even the con helped. Everynow and then I got a con-high but whenever no one talked to me, or I was alone it went away and I fell back into it.

And today I recieved a letter in the mail. Not even gonna bother opening it. No one has the right to push me further down or try to make me feel bad.
I´ve had it with those kind of guys.


My speech for English C

The Stargate Franchise

Most people scuff when they hear the words Sci-fi or science fiction. A lot of them would think about the very cheap and far from good books and movies that have been released over the years. Yet a lot of people are fond of the Star Wars movies without even thinking about the fact that they are science fiction. Most people are dead set on the thought that only nerds and geeks watch science fiction. In that case, I am a nerd. I love science fiction, I live it and I breathe it. But that does not make me any different from my family or friends. In fact, we are all after the same thing: Entertainment.

There is so much in the Stargate franchise that would appeal to different people, from the age of 5 to 85, and I am always trying to find ways for people to see this. The franchise is easiest described as a military science fiction show, but it is also filled with mythology, religion, politics and a lot of humour.

What is now the Stargate franchise began in 1994 when Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer released the movie Stargate. It tells us the story about a transportation device called a Stargate that was found at a dig in Giza in 1928. Kept safe by the US government and the military they finally get it to work and send a team through the gate to a planet called Abydos. There, they come upon a race called the Goa´uld. They are parasitic beings that use humans as hosts as well as slaves and live in the image of ancient gods. The team fight the Goa´uld, free the people and most of the team returns home. It is a classic tale of good fighting bad and, like most times, good prevails.

The movie was a hit, big enough to create a Canadian based spin-off series three years later, a show that ran until 2007. The name of the show was Stargate SG-1. The story was in some ways different from the movie. For example the show gave us a lot of humour which I know for a fact is one of the thing that have given it so many fans. For ten years the US Air Force sent out teams to hundreds of different planets. But while they spent a lot of those ten years out in the universe there were a lot of things happening on our own planet. Politicians have been one of Stargate Command’s greatest foes on earth and I find the arguments, and even the back-stabbing, quite realistic. Since Stargate SG-1 was such a success with the fans another spinoff was created in 2004 called Stargate Atlantis. Having more or less the same storyline as SG-1 it stood out in by the fact that it took place all the way out in the Pegasus galaxy where we were introduced to a new foe. This series ran for five years and gave us the same mix as the previous show with a lot of influences from military, science and humour.
In 2009 a third spinoff series was created named Stargate Universe that lasted until 2011 when it was cancelled. Unlike the other two shows, Universe was leaning more to the grim side and as the characters gets completely cut off from Earth the show has a feeling of doom yet they never give up hope of getting home.

In 2008 Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer released two movies set during the Stargate SG-1 series, Continuum and Ark of truth. For a short period of time during 2002 there was also an animated show called Stargate Infinity that took place 30 years after the first trip through the Stargate.

Despite the fact that all the shows are now cancelled, the Stargate franchise is far from dead. Every year Fandemonium publishes new novels that take place in the Stargate Universe. There are also graphic novels, games, toys and a lot more merchandise to keep the fans satisfied. And for the extremist there are always conventions that take place all year round.

A classic convention takes place from Friday to Sunday with guest appearances from actors, writers and directors. Usually each guest spends about 30-60 minutes on stage where they answer questions from the fans or tell stories from their life or the show. You will also have the opportunity to get an autograph and a photo taken of you and each actor. There are also dinners, cocktail parties, karaoke parties and competitions to attend during the weekend and that is where my favourite part about the conventions enter the picture; you get to meet your fellow fans. The people who truly have been the reason for the success of the Stargate franchise.

At the end of Stargate Atlantis’s third season the writers made a terrible mistake. They killed the very popular character Dr. Carson Beckett, the Scottish hearth of Atlantis, which really made the fans upset. When the episode aired the response was immediate. Overnight the fans had created their very own campaign which has its own website even now. Save Carson Beckett dot com. The fans could not believe what had happened, and they would not accept it. They wrote to the writers and the directors as well as all kinds of different magazines and actually managed to get a lot of attention to this monstrous act. For several months the actors of Atlantis could look out the window and see a group of protesters, all with signs saying “Save Carson Beckett.” And this is when we really got proof that the fans are indeed the fuel of the show and that our voices can be heard. Since science fiction is science fiction they brought Beckett back to the show, as a clone. Quite handy and perhaps a bit sketchy but at least we got out Carson back and we all silently agreed to ignore the tiny gap of logic that suddenly introduced full-grown clones to series.

The conventions give you a wonderful opportunity to discuss things like this with fans from all over the world, from Finland to Australia. You will most definitely return home with fond memories and a lot of new friends.


the world is falling apart and I dont now where to turn

I dont have an outlet anymore and I dont know what to do


The men, women and children murdered in Norway 2011-07-22

Johannes Buø, 14 år, Mandal
Sharidyn Svebakk-Böhn, 14, Drammen.

Karin Elena Holst, 15, Rana.
Kevin Daae Berland, 15 år, Askøy
Modupe Ellen Awoyemi, 15 år, Drammen
Birgitte Smetbak, 15, Nötteröy
Eivind Hovden, 15 år, Tokke

Margrethe Böyum Klöven, 16, Bärum.
Emil Okkenhaug, 16, Levanger
Åsta Sofie Helland Dahl, 16, Sortland.
Aleksader Aas Eriksen, 16, Meråker.
Elisabeth Trönnes Lie, 16, Halden.
Ruth Benedicte Vatndal Nilsen, 16, Tønsberg.
Steinar Jessen, 16, Alta.
Thomas Margida Antonsen, 16, Oslo.
Andrine Bekkene Espeland, 16, Fredrikstad.
Marianne Sandvik, 16 år, Stavanger

Espen Jörgensen, 17, Bodö.
Victoria Stenberg, 17, Nes.
Isabel Victoria Green Sogn, 17, Oslo.
Isa Beathe Rogne, 17, Östre Toten
Torjus Jakobsen Blattman, 17, Kristiansand.
Lejla Selaci, 17, Fredrikstad.
Håkon Ødegaard, 17 år, år, Trondheim
Sondre Furseth Dale, 17 år, Haugesund
Maria Maagerø Johannesen, 17 år, Nøtterøy
Andreas Dalby Grønnesby, 17 år, Stange
Sondre Kjøren, 17 år, Orkdal
Gizem Dogan, 17 år, Trondheim
Silje Merete Fjellbu, 17, Tinn.
Syvert Knudsen, 17, Lyngdal.
Eva Kathinka Lütken, 17 år, Sarpsborg
Ronja Söttar Johansen, 17, Vefsn.

Bendik Rosnæs Ellingsen, 18 år, Rygge
Simon Säbö, 18, Salangen.
Synne Röyneland, 18, Oslo.
Even Flugstad Malmedal, 18, Gjövik.
Bano Abobakar Rashid, 18, Nesodden.
Guro Vartdal Håvoll, 18 år, Ørsta
Silje Stamneshagen, 18 år, Askøy
Mona Abdinur 18, Oslo.
Anders Kristiansen, 18, Bardu.
Andreas Edvardsen,18, Sarpsborg.
Monica Iselin Didriksen, 18, Sund.
Carina Borgund, 18, Oslo.
Ingrid Berg Heggelund, 18, Ås.
Tarald Kuven Mjelde, 18, Osteröy.
Tina Sukuvara, 18, Vadsö.
Fredrik Lund Schjetne, 18, Eidsvoll.
Henrik Rasmussen, 18, Hadsel.

Karar Mustafa Qasim, 19, Vestby.
Ismail Haji Ahmed, 19 år, Hamar
Lene Maria Bergum, 19 år, Namsos
Diderik Aamodt Olsen, 19, Nesodden.
Hanne Kristine Fridtun, 19 år, Stryn

Jamil Rafal Mohamad Jamil, 20, Eigersund.
Torw Eikeland, 21, Bergen.
Håvard Vederhus, 21, Oslo.
Porntid Ardam, 21, Oslo.
Gunnar Linaker, 23, Bardu.
Tamta Lipartelliani, 23 år, Georgien
Rolf Christopher Johansen Perreau, 25 år, Trondheim
Kjersti Berg Sand, 26 år, Nord-Odal
Henrik André Pedersen, 27 år, Porsanger
Sverre Flåte Bjørkavåg, 28 år, Sula

Hanne Ekroll Lövlie, 30, Oslo.
Snorre Haller, 30 år, Trondheim
Kai Hauge, 32, Oslo.
Jon Vegard Lervåg, 32, Oslo.
Ida Marie Hill, 34, Oslo.

Rune Havdal, 43, Övre Eiker
Hanne A. Balch Fjalestad, 43, Lunner.
Monica Elisabeth Bösei, 45, Hole.

Anne Lise Holter, 51, Våler i Östfold.
Trond Berntsen, 51, Övre Eiker.
Tove Åshill Knutsen, 56, Oslo.

Hanna M. Orvik Endresen, 61, Oslo.


.. .. you know.. I dont MEAN to write so much... For every post I try to make it shorter, try to be lesst giddy and try to make the explanations a bit shorter.. and then I post it, and they just seem to be getting longer and longer.. -.-


Vancouver 16th April

Saturday. The day that started off sooooo good. Seriously! It cant possibly get better.
"Alejandro" on stage and Alexis at the bar. Guess who I dreamt about?

Still woke up a few minutes before five and spent most of the first hour watching the tvchannel that played Country music. Wonderful way to wake up.
Took a shower, got dressed, put on my face and then went down to the lobby to use the computer for a while. Played around on facebook and wrote on my blog for a while.
Then, my day got even better. I hadnt met anyone yet, everyone was probably asleep still, so as I went to the elevater to get back up the person walking out was the first I met that day. Just.. Imagine this: the doors open and Alexis walks out. I moost have looked.. I´m not even gonna think about that :P

But I can tell you that I was really close to saying the first thing that popped into my head. Which was "Oh, shit!".
I dont know what he would have thought about that. But he was the first person I met that morning, and the first thing I heard was pretty much "Oh, you look so cute".
Seriously! Could there BE a better way to start off a day? That was awesome.
Heactually stayed and talked with me for a while. And he showed off his new t-shirt. A marvel one. It was cool too, but the other one had roses. ^^* And I am a girl after all.
I ran into him two more times this day :P

After that I went upstairs to see if anyone was awake. I had barely walked into the bar/restaurant area when one of the waiters popped up and said: One of your friends are sitting in the back of the restaurant.
Shure, I do stick out alot, but do they keep an eye on all of my friends aswell?
So, I allowed him to lead me to Ian and I had some fruit for breakfast. I love watermellon. its... wonderful! ^^* Cant help it, its one of my favorite things.

After a while the others popped up and I got to tell them about my wonderful morning ^^* Then I left for my room to get back up and "glue some stuff to my face".
First time they´ve heard that, I assure you.

At 10.30 we were back in the theater and waiting for the intimidatin Robert David. And he was such a sweetie! A handsome sweetie ^^* I knew about Kolya of course, and I knew about the Bond movie. However I did not know about the others. So hearing him talk about Sinatra was alot of fun and all of his stories about his "Prank-war" with arnold schwarzenegger still makes me smile. The toothpicks, the paper-and-soap-assault, the exploding cigar. Not so sure that I would have dared to do anything like that to Schwarzenegger though :P Robert is a far braver human than I am.
But it was fun. Alot of fun, and it was so nice having him there and I shure hope that he will come back for other con´s.
He also told us about his latest project. Sining. Singing Sinatra to be precise. And doing it really good! Seriously, he should have sang something for us. Anything. Just a chorus or something so we could actually realise how amazing his voice is. Its perfect for those kinds of songs.

Here´s the link for a site where you can have a taste of his voice.
Of course the first song I listened to was Witchcraft. Imagine that. I listened, and I just melted. I would LOVE to be able to go and listen to a performance by him. Just amazing. Even mom turned down the tv and said "Hey, thats really good."
So check it out boys and girls.


Then it was time for the photo op with Davi. Since I´ve always loved Kolya (dont ask, one of those things I cant explain. Probably the whole bad-guy-thingy mixed with doing-everything-for-his-people-thingy.) I decided that I should wear my Military inspired Lolidress and it worked like a charm. He LOVED It! ^^*
I could have been happier and we turned out really nice on the photo. And he liked Ninni-chan too! ^^* Best possible outcome.

So after that I caught up with some of my new friends, Liam and Lisa. Lisa is adorable. She is one of the cutest girls I´ve ever seen and shes from Germany. It was her first con so she lost her virginity with us in Vancouver ;) There atually seemed to be alot a virgins this year. I love that.
The girl from norway was new there too.
When I finaly managed to find her, trying to breath after her first photo op at her first con, I asked her friends if she was the norweigan girl and got a slightly weird look and a yes. I walked over to her and said "Hej, mitt namn är Kicki, jag är från sverige. Ta några djupa andetag."
Basicly telling her to breath deeper :P It helped and she seemed to be really happy to be allowed to geek off in her native language. Seemed to calm her down. And watching her brought back soooo many sweet memories from my first con. Though now I´m off track. I think. I dont remember what day I managed to find her. Could very well have been saturday. or friday XD Oh, I just dont know. I´m just gonna go ahead and decide that I met her on saturday. There you have it!

Then it was time for the costume contest. I swear, one of these days I am going to attend. But I´ll need another suitcase for that XD
But I still like watching it. And I had to see Ian. Ian in his trekkie uniform. At a stargat con. XD Love that.

at 1:30 it was time for the photo op with Hewlett. I think its so nice of him to dress so that he will match me ;) Really polite of him, me thinks.
But the picture turned out really good. And he loved Ninni ^^*
And his face.. just so Adorkable ^^* He had that face as Patric in A dogs breakfast.

And then it was time for what I´ve spent most of the past year waiting for. Paul McGillion! Our beloved scottish doctor himself. Alive and well.
And Married. Oh ladie, you shouldnt tell fangirls stuff like that.
Paul: .. and most importantly, I got married.
Girl next to me: DAMMIT!
I concur, sister. I concur. XD
Paul, David and Joe all got some alone time with the fans and then there was a panel. and you should be proud! I actually got up to the microphone and asked a question this year again. I wasnt as pale, and I was shaking a little less. (LITTLE less) but my heart was beating so hard and when I was actually up there I was stupid enough to look out over the room, something I didnt do last year. And THEN I almost passed out. Holy shit that place was crouded. Dear Goddess!
But I asked my question, and I even had Dan come up and stand next to me. I dont have any idea if he know how much that calmed me down, but there he was. So I managed to asked the question and then I made my way back to my seat, sat down and my mind was a blank. I had no IDEA what the hell he answered >< What I do know is that Ian took photos of me standing by the mic. -.- yeay..


So, I had to find someone who could actually remember what he said. Aparently Paul now have a huge respect to women who walks in highheels. And his "favorit" moment was standing in the mud, in the rain, holding an umbrella over the naked David Hewlett laying in the mud :P
Oh yeah, after the.. passionated kiss they shared in Atlantis, I bet he loved that.
And his dad seemed to love seeing him as a bitchy feemale cop :P

but it was fun seeing all three of them together.. really fun. and when they were getting reddy to leave, they stood at the front, arms around eachother and posed for photos. And I´m SOO pissed that my moms camera dont get along with me.. it never takes photos when I want to =when I push the button. bloody meanie..
I MISSED when Paul tried to kiss Joe! Wtf? >< Damn camera.
But I did get a photo of Paul laughing and Joe making faces.
I wonder if David got jealous..? :P

then there were some contests, and the photo op with joe so I had a little break until 5:30 when it was time for the atlantis goup photo op. Oh, dear. I wish I hadnt done that one.. gosh.. I dont know if you guys know, but I have a problem with crouds. one of the reasons I mostly wait outside the theater until the lines for the autographs have dissapeared. But I got in line, with Stefan. And it was going ok. For those of you who havent been there, the hallway outside the photoop room is reaaaly not wide. hell no.
So we were lining up for the groupshot, and then they began lining up for McGillion on the other side of the hallway.. what the frell? I began looking a bit pale and had to focus on breathing. I do know that all of a sudden, Michelle showed up and planted a big one on my cheek, but thats about it. Apparently people had tried talking to me, but didnt get an respons. I dont even remeber anyone trying to communicate with me at all. I felt like crap. My heart was beating so hard, my head was spinning and I had to focus on playing music in my head so I wouldnt pass out, run off or just scream something.
So it felt like we were in line a looong time.. and like we were barely inline at all. its weird, and I dont like to dwell on it.. *shivers*
Anyway.. We managed to get inside, and i had my back to the actors why trying to pull myself together and put my gameface on. When I did, I turned back towards them and started talking a little with the guy infront of me, I think it was James actually.. Then Stefan leans forward and hisses in my ear: Joe Flanigan TOTALY checked you out! .. way what? I must have looked like a questionmark and glanced at the group. Joe did glance ALOT at me, but I´m not shure that means he checked me out.. I mean, My clothes DO stand out a little bit.. Perhaps he was actually thinking "Who´s the freak" or "Who lost theire doll?" :P
But I got my photo with them, and I got to stand between David and Paul, and Joe just grabbed Ninni ^^* He really seemed facinated by her :P
After my photo, Stefan joined us and I took Ninni back and moved to stand between Joe and Paul. that photo turned out really good too ^^*
Though stefan got that one :P I bought the JPEG.

there was supposed to be a dinner break between the group shot and the mcgillion photo op, but as allways.. running a little behind. So we just got in line again. :P
Well, actually I was sitting outside the hallway to get some air, and just waited until the line was gone.
Since it was paul, and I hadnt had any photos with him earlier and had som extra money, I bought two photo op tickets. One with just me and him and then I had Stefan toss Ninni to me. And the photo of the three of us turned out great! if you got me on facebook, you will have seen it as my profile photo, and its also the picture I now have on my new credit card. ^^*

then it was time for the autographs.. ^^* And I really wasnt feeling well.. Spent alot of time, just sitting outise the theater and trying to breath. Lisa kept me company for most of the time, and both Mike and Stephanie joined us later on. They tried to make me join them for the dessert party. Though I didnt really want to go, since I was so dizzy and nauseous. Gosh. I got Hewletts autograph first, and had him sign three photos. He asked me if I brought every photo out there.. Apparently he doesnt know how many photos there actually are of him :P
But I had the photo op from last year, and I managed to get the photo op from this year too. And a Atlantis groupshot photo that Joe signed last year. So I had him write Adorkable on the one from this year, and Snarcastic on the one from last year. He loved that. ^^* I also got to ask him about his movie. Last year he told me that they had plans on selling it in sweden and that it was just put on ice, but he would get that project started again for me ^^* And the movie exists on discshop.se, but you cant boy it.. or prebook it.. you can just.. see the cover :P And ask about it.. which I´ve done, to no use.. -.-'
So I asked him, reminded him what he said last year. And he looked so.. depressed, and a little like a kid who´s gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar :P Cute, as always. But apparently he´s done everything he can. MGM has no further interest in actually selling it in sweden. So I had to try some other way. Gonna have one of my friends by it for me and ship it by mail to sweden. that should work, if they just tell me how much money they want. So I wont be able to buy it here. But he did try for me, and that means alot. Shure, he wants to sell his movie, but still. He tried to get it here for me.. I´ll always remember that ^^*
I waited until Davi´s line was almost gone, and then I went over there and joined the few straddlers that were left. Its so weird, couse he looks sooooo scary and intimidating in like, all of his roles. And he´s such a sweetie. and I´ve never felt so welcome at an autograph table. When there was two girls infront of me, he looked up at the girl getting the autograph, said hi and smiled you know like they do. And then he glanced around the room and saw me. And got this HUGE smile and sparkle in his eyes and he says: Oh, THERE you are!
I blinked a bit surprised and smiled back and then stood there wondering.. What the frell? had he been waiting for me? That was awesome. It actually sounded as if he was getting worried I wouldnt show. Sticking out is good sometimes.. ^^^*
Then I got Joe´s autograph, and he actually spelled my name right this time. I had a few old photo ops I wanted signed by him.

And then it was time for the dessert party. I actually went and sat with mike and his team, Lisa and her dad joined us. Of course I would have prefered to sit with michelle but their table looked so crouded. well, theire tables rather.. they had two :P And I was just there for Alexis. when I told mike that, it got really quiet and he´s like: In that case I feel so sorry for you.
Oh shit.. I didnt like the sound of that. "Why´s that?" -Couse he´s not coming.
say what? >< Apparently he hadnt known about the dessert party. Mike ran into him inthe hallways, and said that he thought it was awesome Alexis was gonna come to the party. Alexis just looked at him: What party? My plane leaves at six.
oh frell..
So I decided to take off and try to get some rest instead. And ran into Christopher Judge leaving the bar and leaving a verry confused McGillion behind him. I got to talk to Paul a little, then excused myself and left for the elevators. Where I had to wait since Judge was standing there with two police officers. One on each side, they looked like wanna be bodyguards. and they were like a head shorter than him :P It was the same cops that had been scouting the area outside of the theater, so I dont know.. But it was so weird, couse aparently Judge had said one floor first, and then he realised it was the wrong one and told them. Then one of the cops reports that into a walkie talkie.. .. ehm.. ok? Felt like a B movie..
So I was one of very few people who got to see Judge that night, since he didnt show up for the con.
so.. Now I´m not allowed to walk in the hallways on my own, since I keep running into the guests :P


vancouver 15th April

So.. once again.. lack of sleep. I waited until a kvarter to eight, and then I got up to floor 14 and knocked on stefans door. he was awake though. Good. or else he would have bitten me or something. Though, that's not necceserely a bad thing... ;)
I wonder if Alexis really would have done it for a smaller sum of cash ^^*
*dream of*

Anyway, so he was gonna look me up that morning, couse we had gotten an invitation to meet the others for breakfast at the bar at nine, so we went down, met with the group and got to eating. And I mean EATING. DUDE! I've NEVER seen people eat that much for breakfast. or any meal! Seriously. Theire breakfast was more food that I eat in a DAY!

Today was a slow and soft day, things didnt really start for me until 1 pm, couse Alex Zahara was up first at half past 12 so I just took it easy, actually going through how much money I had. WOW. I had alot. so I started writing down how many photo ops from prevoius conventions I had that I wanted sighned and how many extra autograph tickets I needed. It was a whole bunch. And just for the fun of it, and since I had the cash for it, I bought an extra photo op with bout McGillion and J.R. Come on, two of my favorit boys, and its the first time I meet them. Since I got Ninni on all of the Photo Ops at this convention I Figured that I could take one photo without her and just do a hug or cuddle photo or something. ^^*

So. 1pm. The one, the adorable, the WONDERFUL storyteller Andee Frizzell. I'm gonna do her friend a favor and post a blog post called "Andee Frizzell Vancouver HAHAHAHAHA". Apparently there are LOTS of photos of Andee doing weird stuff while she's telling her storys, and her friend spends alot of time looking for them and sending them to Andee in an email where the subject is always "HAHAHAHAHA".
So, I'm gonna make it easier for her. And just because Andee told us that, I made shure only to take photos where she was making weird faces XD
I'm shure that she's gonna love me ;P
She was adorable, and I just dont get why she thinks that we want her to shut up or just talk less. The best thing with seeing her is hearing her storys and SEE her storys when she's doing all those weird stuff. I love it.
And Andee, you need to speak up a bit more girl ;)
And stay away from Traditional Chinese Massages. Gosh, I love that story XD

after a short Stump the Experts game there was time for Andees photo op, and since we were talking vampires on stage (TWILIGHT SUCKS!) and she said that she always wanted to play a vampire, and since I consider wraiths to BE vampires, I asked her if she could just pretend to bite my neck. I was considering just walking up to her with this bitchy attitude and say "Bite me!", but she got so caught up in my outfit at started giving me compliments that the bitch in me got pushed to side by the little girl in me ;)
But she did, and she laughed so much when I asked her to do that. My second request. WHOHO!

After that there was an photo op with Alex Zahara, which I didnt do either. And then it was time for Alexis Cruz who plays Skaara and Klorel and appears in both SG1 and the ORIGINAL stargate movie. Oh he was so adorable, and he absolutely does NOT look his age.
I loved him, and he told us a whole bunch of stories from both the sg1 set and the Original movie set. He was really funny, and again. IAN! You rock!
My pictures are AWESOME! And I fill the camera up in little under a day XD
God, I'm gonna LOVE making this scrapbook album.
Oh yeah, I got to tell you guys about his t-shirt. most of this day was about that t-shirt. It was the most gorgeous star wars tshirt I've EVER seen. love it. it had darth vader, stormtroopers and roses. Does it get any better? Really?

So after that, where now at 3;25 it was time for his photo op. So I walk up to him, and he shakes my hand and gives me a hug and I just tugg slightly on his sweather and says "Do you think that you could take this off? I really love your t-shirt."
Well duh, the photo ops are purely fan-servies so off the sweather goes. XD And I get my shot, thanks him and walks out of there. Grabbing my stuff and leaving the room I tosses my hair over my shoulder and looks at my friends further back in the line and say " I got Alexis Cruz to strip."
The whole line burst out into laughter and tries to look into the room. I dont know what they expected. That he would be naked? XD
Ey, He might not have gotten nude, but a sweather less is a sweather less. Hence, I got him to strip. I'm so awesome. ^^* Have I ever told you guys that I LOVE the conventions? I did? Oh..

So.. 4.05 its time for the first auction for the weekend, and as usual I was SOO aching to bid, but.. Dude. If you dont know what the money is worht, you really shouldnt be bidding. its just that easy :P So I behaved. But GOD there were some really awesome posters and an actionfigure that I would have wanted.

at 4.50 it was time for the adorable Kavan Smith. Oh boy, he's a cutie. and so nice. He also told us bunch of stories. About his dad and how they didnt really get along. But then he began sharing stories of his childhood and all the stuff he did. And I really, really cant blame his dad for being a little.. cranky at him. Dude, Kavan sorta makes my brothers look like angels XD Though Kavan DID mean well, and he never TRIED to get into trouble, unlike my bros so.
He also told us that he had been taken aside by the teachers at his sons kindergarden becouse there was a problem. You see, his son had used a bad word. He said.. Badass.
Kavan was like.. What? Thats IT? I got this really awesome face thats supposedly the expression he got when they told him that. And it was just.. sheesh, he's a really good story teller. Not as good as Andee perhaps couse she actually did some more stuff. Though he did sort of got up and show what he did when he was suppose to pretend to have sex with someone at a take XD

they had something new at the conventions. Group shots of all of the guests of the day and you. which was sorts of cool, I guess.. but, I didnt do those either.
So I waited until 6.15 and got my photo with him and girl, I'm gonna tell you this: Kavan is such a god hugger ;)

Then it was time for autographs at 6.30 and I was soo happy that my Andee photo op was actually done, so I managed to get her to sign that. And the photos from last year, both in vancouver and Los Angeles. And she though it was so funny. "Oh, look! I can see my hair growing!"
I had her write Twilight Sucks on one of the photos ^^* and I swear, everyone in the line behind me, aswell as the guys guarding her, cheered. Everyone loved that XD

After that I got my Alexis photo signed. And I was so pissed, couse the photo op wasnt finished and all they had was this really blurry picture of Klorel. Bad, BAD Creation Ent. They should be able to get good photos.
So after that I got in line for Evans autograph, and I noticed that the guy in front of me, Barry, had HIS photo op with Alexis. Aparently they WERE done. And Alexis was leaving. and the ticket vendor was closed. And I panicked. I managed to get Alexis to wait for me, RAN down to the next floor for my photo op, cought the guy as he was leaving and freaked again. But he did unpack it for me so I could get the picture. Thanked him, RAN back upstairs and you guys need to realise that I was in a LOOOON skirt and high heels. you do NOT run in either. Good, I though that I was gonna brake an ankle or two. When I got back I found out that one of the regulars had actullay manage to sweet talk the girls into letting me just pay up front for a autograph since I didnt have a ticket and I got my autograph! I was SOOOO happy. He made shure NOT to write on the T-shirt. XD
And its my favorite photo op, couse I look GREAT! We both do. SOO, SOO great,
He's such a sweetie. And he got those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes that always gets me into trouble. ;P

After that it was time for the cabaret with Andee and Alexis. Andee, once again told some amazing stories and stuff and Alexis.. WOW. Omg, Alexis.. Well, these guys are actors. So he did an act. He was a bustboys. Alejandro. Who LOVES women. And the women loves him. So he came on the stage with black pants, white shirt and a flower in each hand, and one in his mouth. Did a little showin off and then began tossing the flowers to the audience. And then he began taking out more flowers.
For example. Oh my gooddness, he unzipped his pants and pulled out a flower and tossed it to the audience XD
Then Alejandro began telling us a tale. A tale of this amazing woman that he met, made love with and got his heart broken by. (A macho sometimes wounds, and a macho sometimes gets wounded.) And. he actually did it all on stage. Hence, I have pictures of Alexis Cruz, pretending to have sex on stage. And oh my lordy, Kavan could shure take some lessons from him. GOD! I probably looked like a tomato and the audience spent most of the time gasping for air and laughing so much they could take photos. I was not the only one getting shaky pictures there. Oh shit.\
And then he pulled out a puppet. The psychic monkey and pulled up a girl, Julie, from the audience and messed around with her. And.. that guy it just great, and after the EXTREMELY charming Alejandro on stage, I knew what I was going to dream about that night.

at 10.30 it was time for the karaoke. We didnt go right away, instead we spent some time at Paul and Michelles room (interesting how Paul always manages to get me into their room ;P) and they had some pie and talked for a while. No one else where going to the karaoke, but Clay and Barry actually went down with me and talked to some friends or something before they retreated to their nice and QUIET rooms. Gosh, some of those guys were aweful. One girl was really close to making me drop my drink.
Yeah, I had drinks. Liam bought me rom and coke. or rum and coke, what ever. I could drink it. :P

And.. Alexis was there. but I didnt really want to bother him, so I asked Liam if he would be willing to do me a favor and ask Alexis where and when he bought the shirt, couse I couldnt find it online and was getting worried that it was out of print. So he walks over there, and I'm sort of hiding behind the other Bar Boys in the bar and when I glances over there Alexis has got this amused smile and is shaking his head and then he looks over at me and Liam comes back. Apparently, when he figured out that I was the one wanting to know he refused to talk to Liam and he had to pull me over there. Gosh I didnt want to go. I was nervous and there were a few other people that had been talking to him and they were still there. They were there the entire night. -.-
When I DID get over to Alexis he leaned forward with a smile and he said "I dont bite". Then Liam leans in and says "No, that costs extra." XD Omg, I was to nervous to actually register what he said, or else I would have laughed SO bad. Omg. Liam!

Anyway, we talked about the shirt, and it was a few years ago that he bought it, and I told him that I hadnt found it online. I told him that they guys had said that I could just steal the t-shirt from him. Not that either I or Alexis understood quite hos I was gonna be able to do that. I mean, he was WEARING it. So one of the guys standing next to him said that I could just hit him in the head with a frying pan XD For you guys thats just weird, but for us that say his alejandro and monkey act it was an awesome comment! But I actually got a whole group of voluntairs now that are willing to hold him down while I steal the shirt. THEN we can talk about making him strip XD


Vancouver 14th April 2011

You know, I never realise how much I write until afterwards. And here I was, thinking that I would be writing as much this time. Didnt seem like much had happened, but it got pretty long. Hopefully this will be a bit shorter or I know for SHURE that my mom wont be reading it. :P

So, last night I set the alarm at 9.00 am so I would get to sleep in. Wakes up at about 5 am, and cant go back to sleep becouse there are atleast two women chatting away in the hallway. FIVE A.M! Is it so bloody hard to go into a room if you want to have a nice long talk? And what the frell could be so important that you need to talk about it 5 A.M? Seriously!
Gah. My room was to cold though, so I couldnt get up and tell them to shut the frell up.

Okay its 9;09 pm here (21.09) and my neck is hurting almost as much as my head, so I'm gonna go to sleep and finish writing this tomorrow. I Dont really need to see the first guest so my convention starts at 1 pm, so I should be able to finish this tomorrow morning. Lets just see if I remember everthing then. Though I can say one thing, Dan Payne is a darling! ^^*


Okey, I'm back! And here we go again!
So not the best way to start the day, but what ever. cant be obsessed about that.

So.. first official day at the convention. And I cant tell you how wonderful it is to be back. My people, my friends, my friends-I-havent-met-yet.. its just amazing. its worth the long frelling trip, no matter how boring it was.

So.. woke up at around 5 am. yeay.. chatty women.. but I got a nice long bath, got dressed and made my make up, found a tv chanel that plays country music(!)
There werent relly anything until 2;30 but I went down around 1 pm, to catch up with Stefan and the others. And check out the merchendise. Soooo little, but always something.
I managed to meet the people I missed the night before, and I also met some new folks. Friends of Ian that aparently spends most of the convention in the bar. Dont really get why they would come all this way to sit in the bar, but what ever works for you, right? So, since theyre always there, I named them the Bar Boys.
They all seemed happy with that actually :)
And Ian.. Ian Brock. My top favorite Aussie. including Claudia Black. He's on the front raw, and he got this really big lense (penisforlangare kommer i olika versioner) and he checked out my camera, shook his head and started fiddling with it. When he was done, that huge lense was on MY camera and he said "Well, you can just hld on to that for the weekend, and You'll get great photos." Did you read that MOM?!
MAMMA! MAMMA! READ THAT PART! Se till att lasa det! DO IT!

See, my mom got one about just like it.. and she refused to borrow it to me. Nice huh. Jag fick till och med lana ett STATIV till ^^*

I just had to give him a kiss. of course, he didnt mind ;)

Then it was time for the first guest of the weekend, David Nkyl. Everyones ADORABLE Dr. Radek Zelenka. The first time he opened his mouth I got so shocked I just sat there with my mouth open. Not only did he not have the chez dialect, he's voice was SO different. Logical, but I've just never heard him of set.. so that was.. weird.
But he was so funny, and so nice ^^*
And of course, with my "new" camera, I got the most amazing pictures ever. You can actually see the faces and stuff that they do! I LOVE IT! I dont wanna give it back! ^^* Ian is definitely getting another kiss.

After that it was time for patrick Currie at 3.15. He plays ChakaA (one of my top favorites from stargate), Fifth and Eamon. Eamon I dont really remember, and fifth. Well, Patrick put it quite nicely when he said "Fifth is so naive and innocent that I kind of feel sorry for him, but at the same time I want to slap him."
But come on, the "mans" a like five year old replicator.
So patrick was really nice and cool, but I didnt buy either a photo op or an autograph with him.

At 4;05 it was time for the first photo op of the weekend, David Nkyl. ^^* Actually turned out alright. and he was so sweet and cute, just like Zelenka. Whenever I see Zelenka I just want to run up and hug him ^^* Shure he's annoying at times, but come on. Compared to RODNEY! Dude!

After that there was patricks photo op and then there was a little intermission before our one, our only, our beloved Dan Payne showed up at 4;45. That guy gets around. He plays three characters on Stargate Atlantis, one on Sanctuary, three on Stargate SG1 and he's also a Lycan in the new Underworld movie. Which got him injured thursday night actually. I feel sorry for him, and I never want to be a stuntman. Or woman. whatever.
But dan is so funny, and he was telling storys and explaining stuff. last time I saw him he was on stage at the same time as Dan Shae, so he didnt really get to say much. Imagine that, right? But this time he was on his own, and he was marvelous. A shining star ^^*
And we got some really good pictures of his but! XD
Frell yeah!

After that there was Mark Burgess, Dr.Franklin on stargate Universe, but i didnt watch that one. I got something to eat instead. Smart move, couse I was getting a bit dizzzzzzzy with the jetlag and lack of sleep and stuff.

At 6;05 it was time for photo ops again, first out Dan Payne and he was SOOO sweet! I got this biiig, biiig hug! ^^* I just LOVE hugs! Arent they the greates?
After that there was mark burgess, once again I skipped that and went up to wait for the autograph sessions at 7;05.

I got to say, I miss chris! Whenever he takes pictures, they are great! I got nothing agains the guy thats here, but Chris is special. And if there's a picture that didnt get so good, and he takes a new one. You get both. With this guy, you just take the one that he thinks was the best. AND it takes about a DAY to print the shit, couse it has to be printed somewhere else. What the hell?
So i couldnt get any of them signed. :(

But I got David to sign both audiobooks, and he really seemed happy that I liked them. And we even had the same favorite ^^*

So after that.. I cant really remember what happened. I think that the others went out to eat. Yeah, they did, and I declined the invitation and went up to my room. Didnt get to bed until 12;30 anyway, but still.. Though.. funny thing was. I was on my way to dreamland, and I could feel the small twitches you get when your dozing off, they woke me up every now and then. And it was such a cozy, nice, tired feeling and I was SO falling asleep. And then it just stoped. I remember thinking, What the frell just happened? It was just gone. and then I didnt sleep for the entire night -.- What's up with that? I didnt sleep at ALL! And I was SOOOO bored!

Vancouver 13th April 2011

Okey, first of all I want to wish a big happy birthday to my niece, Melissa. Happy birthday sweetie! Hope you get lots of presents and kisses. (when I'm writing this its actually the 14th)

Okey.. here we go. I'm back in Vancouver and it was suuuch a boring trip. And I got a major headache today. I think it might be the jetlag, becouse I cant even turn my head.

The night began in the best way. Moms cat kept me up :p could have been worse though, and I could have thrown her out so I'm not gonna bitch about that. But the alarm went of att halv past 4, though I didnt manage to crawl out of bed until around five minutes to five. We left for the airport at around 25 past but I managed to take a shower and fix something to eat at the airport.

Couldnt really help the fact that I was a bit nervous. My first time traveling on my own, and I was so nervous that I would miss my flight or something. Dont really care what happens on my way home, as long as I got here alright ^^*
Once there I had about two/three hours and it really wasnt needed. I got checked in all right and the plane was on time, somewhat. The plane took of at 10.25 so it was about ten minutes late. not to bad. We were still 5 minutes early when we landed in Chicago, after about nine hours. Nine really, really boring hours. My tv/thingy didnt work, I could play games and stuff, but the Movie part was "Not available at this moment". Apparently it was a very long moment. a nine hours long moment. And to make things better, the guy sitting next to me was DESPERATE in his efforts to NOT talk to anyone sitting next to him, or getting eyecontact or anything like that. Weirdo.
So I listened to a lot of music, read a lot and wrote a bit.

Once I got to Chicago it was just as easy as it was last time. Go through customs, pick up my bag, check in in again, get onto the train and go all the way to terminal 1, check myself in and then sit down and wait. I did buy something to eat there though. I needed that. Seriously, McKay IS the only one who likes hospital and Airplane food.
But then again, McKay eats about anything. Except for Tofu ;) Of course!
Did meet two swedes though. A woman and her daughter traveling to meet the second daughter who goes to school in Vancouver. So we chatted a little.

After three hours waiting we got on the plane to vancouver and I sat next to a really nice old couple. They got married when she was 19 and they had now been married for 53 years. When I asked how the frell they managed that she smiled, leaned in and said: I ignore him ALOT.
What the frell? Always when you ask old people about stuff like that they answer weirdly. "Cheat alot", "Dont eat together", "Dont sleep together" and now "Ignore them". Perhaps marriage isnt quite what like I imagined :P
But they were really nice, and she had Pringles that she offered me. Anyone who shares chips or sweets gets an OK-brand ^^*

Once in vancouver I got onto the Skytrain. that wasnt much of a "sky"train really. Most of the time it was like a subway, couse it went underground. The cabfair for Stefan was about 35 or 45, cant rememeber what he said. I did have to change trains once, but it only cost me a little under 8 C-dollars. So.. easy choise :P
I'm still gonna take a cab TO the airport though, couse I want to be on time, its really early so I'll be tired and I dont know how often the skytrains run that early in the mornings. So cab it is then.

Once I was checked in at the hotel, showered and found Stefan at the bar it was about 8.30 pm lokal time, and we talked a little before we went over to registration. Met most of my friends the first night, just Ian and Billie that was hiding. Ian claims he was already to drunk at the time and Billie.. I dont really know. She didnt say :P

But we got registraded and got a small, cute little SG1 cup and also bought two more autographs, David Nykl and Paul McGillion. Since I could'nt decide which audiobook to get signed, I'm just gonna have both signed.

Met up with paul and michelle who got here by car, about 13 hours drive if I remember correctly and they were a bit tired. To make things worse the hotel was overbooked so they didnt get theyre room. Instead the hotel payed for a night at a different hotel and drove them over there. We chatted for a while at the bar, and I shared my Daim with everyone ^^* They loved it. More Daim to the people!
Well after the bar we more or less gave in and went to our rooms. After 30 minutes in the bathtub my eyelids kept falling down so I gave in as well and went to sleep at about 11.30 pm. (23.30 for you folks back home)


Du gamla, Du Fria

Du gamla, du fria
Du gamla, Du fria, Du fjällhöga nord
Du tysta, Du glädjerika sköna!
Jag hälsar Dig, vänaste land uppå jord,
Din sol, Din himmel, Dina ängder gröna.
Din sol, Din himmel, Dina ängder gröna.

Du tronar på minnen från fornstora dar,
då ärat Ditt namn flög över jorden.
Jag vet att Du är och Du blir vad du var.
Ja, jag vill leva jag vill dö i Norden.
Ja, jag vill leva jag vill dö i Norden.

Jag städs vill dig tjäna mitt älskade land,
din trohet till döden vill jag svära.
Din rätt, skall jag värna, med håg och med hand,
din fana, högt den bragderika bära.
din fana, högt den bragderika bära.

Med Gud skall jag kämpa, för hem och för härd,
för Sverige, den kära fosterjorden.
Jag byter Dig ej, mot allt i en värld
Nej, jag vill leva jag vill dö i Norden.
Nej, jag vill leva jag vill dö i Norden.


Star Wars Knights of The Old Republic

HK-47: "Answer: Simply that the distinction between 'killer' and 'killee' be a clear one. I cannot kill of my own volition, naturally."
Revan: "I don't think 'killee' is a word."
HK-47: "Expletive: Damn it, master, I am an assassination droid... not a dictionary!"

HK-47: "Advisory: It is not possible to destroy the master. It is suggested that you run while my blaster warms up, meatbags."

HK-47: "Query: Would you rather be caught with contraband that is 'very' illegal, or just a little illegal?"
Revan: "What's the difference?"
HK-47: "About twenty years, master."

HK-47: "Your pupil once asked me what I thought of him and I informed him of his meatbag status. He was unimpressed, but you thought the reference was humorous. You programmed me to continue using that reference. It drove your pupil to extreme lengths of frustration."
Revan: "So... Malak was the original meatbag. I like that idea."
HK-47: "Of course you do, master. You liked it then as well."

Jolee Bindo: "Bad bad men. Women too, to be fair. Oh, yes. They make a fine sandwich, also, heh, heh, heh. But don't tell the Jedi Council I said that."

Jolee Bindo: "…Sometimes swirling Force is just swirling Force. It gets all us old Jedi excited at our age so we go 'Oooo, destiny!'"

Jolee Bindo: "Oh, I get it. Let's play with the old man's head, is it? He's half-senile, he'll forget I said anything! Wait uh, what was this about, anyway?"

Jolee Bindo: "I'm old, damn it! I'm allowed to be enigmatic when I want to be, and don't you go telling me otherwise."

Jolee Bindo: "You know what I hate? Well, lots of things, actually. But I'm old, and easily annoyed."

Jolee Bindo: "Sigh…You know the problem with the youth of today? They're young."

Jolee Bindo: "No staring at the old man. That's what the sign says, dammit!"

Jolee Bindo: "Yeah, I'm old and stubborn. But I appreciate the effort. But from now on you can just think of me as any other non-Jedi in our little group—with a lightsaber. And Force powers."

Lashowe: "Do you know how many Sith there are on this planet?"
Jolee Bindo: "Twelve! No, wait! Thirteen!"
Canderous Ordo: "Nice one, old man."
Jolee Bindo: "Thank you. It takes effort to be properly irreverent at my age."

Canderous: "You had us outnumbered five to one. You had more ships, more troops, more supplies and the Jedi on your side. And we still made the Republic tremble before we fell!"

Canderous: "I don't hold a grudge against Revan, and neither do any of my people. It was the greatest moment of my life to be in that battle. If Revan had been a Mandalorian, nothing in the galaxy would have stopped us. But wishing for the past to be different is useless. Better to look to the future. As we should now."

Canderous: "Assassin. Mercenary. Those are names people give guys like me who do the killing to make us seem better or worse in their eyes."

Canderous: "Bastila, I heard a rumor that the Vulkars captured you without much of a struggle. It must be embarrassing to be bested by a handful of street thugs."

Canderous: "That's the problem with you Jedi. Always chanting about peace and control, never up for a good fight. Well, except for Revan, I guess."

Canderous: "You defeated the Mandalore clans in the war, Revan. You were the only one in the galaxy who could best us. We had never met one like you before, and never since. How can you even ask if I'll follow you? Whatever you are fighting, it will be worthy of my skill. I'm your man until the end, Revan, no matter how this plays out."

Star Wars Knights of The Old republic II The Sith Lords

Bao-Dur: Your command echoes still, General. And I obey, as I did at Malachor V.

Atton Rand: *Another* Jedi? What,you guys started breeding when I wasn't looking?

Atton Rand: Tell me I'm not going to jail again.

Atton Rand: Explain something to me.
Kreia: I do not have the years required nor the desire to indulge you.

Atton Rand: Got a minute?
Bao-Dur: I'm a little busy here. What is it?
Atton Rand: It won't take more than a minute.
Bao-Dur: All right, I'll work while you talk.
Atton Rand: Look, your friend, the Jedi - you know her from way back, don't you? How much do you know about her, really?
Bao-Dur: Her? You mean the General? Yeah, during the war, if that's what you mean by way back. Can't say I know too much about her, though.
Atton Rand: Better than anyone else on this ship. Just give me your opinion, okay? And don't laugh.
Bao-Dur: I'm trying to work here, Atton.
Atton Rand: I was just wondering if you thought, maybe, she and I might...
Bao-Dur: You're being serious.
Atton Rand: You said you wouldn't laugh.
Bao-Dur: You are being serious. Atton, she was a general, I was just a tech. Your guess is about as good as mine.
Atton Rand: Well, what's your guess then?
Bao-Dur: I'm getting back to work.
Atton Rand: Hey! I'm being serious here.
T3-M4: Beep bereeeep deep.
Atton Rand: You're laughing at me? I'll put you on the scrap heap, you walking tin can!

Anzanti Zhug: I am Anzanti Zhug, leader of Zhugs, very powerful, very skilled hunters. It would be very smart of you to tell me where the criminal Jedi has gone. And do speak very quick, my patience is very low.
Atton Rand: Anybody here catch that? All I understood was 'very'.
Bao-Dur: I think he wanted us to give up the General to his poorly-trained collection of bounty hunters.
Atton Rand: Ah. Well, that would explain it. Which one do you want?
Bao-Dur: I'll take the stupid one who decided to threaten us rather than shoot us when he had the chance.

Atton Rand: Just so you Jedi know, the whole "cryptic routine" isn't mysterious, it's just irritating. If you really *can* see the future, you shoul be at the pazaak table.
Exile: But to know the future, one must know yourself.
Atton Rand: What was that, some kind of joke?
Atton Rand: That's what I'm talking about. "Jedi talk". You two should start your own little Jedi Academy.
Exile: But to teach, one must be willing to learn.
Atton Rand: All right, all right! Cut it out, I get it, I get it! The last Jedi in the galaxy, I get the comedian who runs around in his underwear.
Atton Rand: Not that I'm complaining. Most Jedi wouldn't know a joke if it crawled up their lightsabers. Our passenger, for example.

Atton Rand: You´ll be right here, with me, playing pazaak, where they can't reach you.

―Kreia, telepathically, to Jedi Exile in the Peragus Mining Facility[src]
"Find what you were looking for amongst the dead?"
―Kreia to Jedi Exile in the Peragus Mining Facility[src]
"He cannot kill what he cannot see, power has blinded him long ago."
―Kreia on Darth Sion[src]
"To have fallen so far and learned nothing—that is your failing."
―Kreia to Darth Sion on board the Harbinger[src]
"Our path brought us here for a reason..."
―Kreia on the Ebon Hawk's arrival at Telos IV[src]
"Also, in private, we will be mercifully free from the opinions of imbeciles and fools."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile about Atton[src]
"The Jedi Academy on Dantooine is nothing more than a crater that echoes with the ghosts of dead Jedi. And the Jedi Temple on Coruscant lies empty. The waters in the Room of a Thousand Fountains have fallen still, in reverence to the fallen Jedi... and those now lost."
―Kreia on the destruction of the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine and the Jedi abandoning the Jedi Temple on Coruscant during the First Jedi Purge[src]
"Your spirit, as diseased as it is, refuses to allow you to give up, no matter what threats you face... and whatever wreckage you leave behind you."
―Kreia to Atton Rand[src]
"But you will forget this. Your mind is worse than the others, so open, so trusting. Your feelings for her are your weakness."
―Kreia to Mical about his feelings for Jedi Exile[src]
"There are dark places in the galaxy where few tread. Ancient centers of learning, of knowledge. But I did not walk alone. To be united by hatred is a fragile alliance at best. But my will was not law. There were disagreements, ambition… and hunger for power. There are techniques within the Force against which there is no defense. I was cast down, stripped of my power, exiled. I suffered indignities, and fell into darkness."
―Kreia on her exile from the Sith Triumvirate[src]
"There is no strength in the hunger he possesses... and the will behind his power is a primal thing. And it devours him as he devours others—his mere presence kills all around him, slowly, feeding him. He is already dead, it is simply a question of how many he kills before he falls."
―Kreia, on Darth Nihilus — Listen (file info)[src]
"If you were to face an ancient Sith Lord in combat, you would learn that we are as children playing with toys compared to the prowess of the old Masters."
―Kreia on the ancient Sith Lords[src]
"Revan was power. It was like staring into the heart of the Force. Even then, you could see the Jedi he would slay etched on his soul."
―Kreia on Revan — Listen (file info)[src]
"It would have helped, had he made her understand. But she was always strong-willed, that one, and did not understand war as Revan did."
―Kreia on the way Revan left Bastila Shan[src]
"Know that much may happen here, but above all, do not forget this—you may trust in me. We cradle each other's lives, and what threatens one of us, threatens us both. And if you find you cannot trust me, trust in your training. Trust in yourself. Never doubt what you have done. All your decisions have brought you to this point."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile as she is about to enter the Jedi Enclave and meet the Jedi Council — Listen (file info)[src]
"And what is it you think you have accomplished? If you seek to aid everyone that suffers in the galaxy, you will only weaken yourself … and weaken them. It is the internal struggles, when fought and won on their own, that yield the strongest rewards. You stole that struggle from them, cheapened it. If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile[src]
"This wound … it is a physical thing, and will fade with time. It was necessary … some things may only be learned from sacrifice."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile[src]
"You have failed me. Completely and utterly."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile[src]
"What do you wish to hear? That I once believed in the code of the Jedi? That I felt the call of the Sith, that perhaps, once, I held the galaxy by its throat? That for every good work that I did, I brought equal harm upon the galaxy? That perhaps the greatest of the Sith Lords knew of evil, they learned from me?"
―Kreia to Jedi Exile[src]
"Learn from me, my mistakes, and use that knowledge to become greater than I. That is all I desire. In you all my hopes rest, for the future, for the Force."
"The Jedi have struck. They had a secret Academy buried on Telos, and they are showing themselves at last. We are all in danger."
―Kreia, to Colonel Tobin — Listen (file info)[src]
Kreia on the ForceEdit"It is such a quiet thing, to fall. But far more terrible is to admit it."
―Kreia to Atris — Listen (file info)[src]
"It is only through interaction, through decision and choice, through confrontation, physical or mental, that the Force can grow within you."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile[src]
"If you are to truly understand, then you will need the contrast, not adherence to a single ideal."
―Kreia to the Jedi Exile on the Jedi Code — Listen (file info)[src]
"When one relies on sight to perceive the world, it is like trying to stare at the galaxy through a crack in the door."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile[src]
"When I spoke of sight before, there is a similar handicap that tends to occur among those strong in the Force. They neglect their skills. Some believe they no longer need them."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile[src]
"Skill does not always draw from the Force, but it is a measure of power nonetheless. It can grant knowledge, help steady oneself when one's thoughts are in chaos, or grant enlightenment."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile[src]
"Yes... and what are they without the Force? Take the greatest Jedi Knight, strip away the Force, and what remains? They rely on it, depend on it, more than they know. Watch as one tries to hold a blaster, as they try to hold a lightsaber, and all you will see is nothing more than a woman -- or a man. A child."
Dialogues with the Jedi MastersEditA transcription of the scene with Kreia confronting the Jedi High Council in the ruins of the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. The councilors are Jedi Masters Vrook Lamar, Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell; in this scene they are killed by Kreia as they attempt to strip the Force from her apprentice, the Jedi Exile.

Vrook: "You were deafened."
Kreia: "At last, you could hear."
Kavar: "You were broken."
Kreia: "You were whole."
Zez-Kai: "You were blinded."
Kreia: "And at last... you saw."
―Kreia to the Exile, as the Council speaks of her lost Force-sensitivity[src]
Kreia: "Step away from her."
Vrook: "Wh-?"
Kreia: "Step away! She has brought truth, and you condemn it? The arrogance! You will not harm her. You will not harm her ever again."
―Kreia Force-pushes the Masters away from the Exile[src]
Kavar: "I thought you had died in the Mandalorian Wars…"
Kreia: "Die? No—became stronger, yes."
―Kavar recognizes Kreia[src]
Vrook: "Is this your new Master, exile? If so, then you follow Revan's path. Her teachings will cause you to fall as surely as he did."
Zez-Kai: "We sought to lure the Sith out… and now they have come to us."
Kreia: "As you would pass judgment on her, I have come to pass judgment on you all. Do you wish to feel the teachings born of the Mandalorian Wars? Of all wars, of all tragedies that scream across the galaxy? Let me show you—you, who have forever seen the galaxy through the Force. See it through the eyes of the Exile"
―The others acknowledge her, then all three get Force drained[src]
"How could you ever hope to know the threat you face, when you have never walked in the dark places of the galaxy—faced war and death on such a scale. If you had traveled far enough, rather than waiting for the echo to reach you, perhaps you would have seen it for what it was. There is a place in the galaxy where the dark side of the Force runs strong. It is something of the Sith, but it was fueled by war. It corrupts all that walks on its surface, drowns them in the power of the dark side—it corrupts all life. And it feeds on death. Revan knew the power of such places… and the power in making them. They can be used to break the will of others… of Jedi, promising them power, and turning them to the dark side. The Mandalorian Wars were a series of massacres that masked another war, a war of conversion… culminating in a final atrocity that no Jedi could walk away from—save one."
―Kreia disparaging the Council before turning to the Exile[src]
"And this is what I sought to understand. How one could turn away from such power, give up the Force… and still live. But I see what happened now. It is because you were afraid."
―Kreia squats down to the Exile, who is lying unconscious on the grass[src]
Later, Kreia confronts Atris in the Telosian Jedi Academy and makes her realize she has fallen to the dark side of the Force.

Kreia: "Who I am is not the question."
Atris: "I am Atris, Jedi Master… the last historian of the Jedi… the last of the Jedi."
Kreia: "Those are titles, words you cling to as the darkness falls around you."
Atris: "You are that which has attacked the Jedi… you are Sith."
Kreia: "'Sith' is a title, yes, but like you, the title is not who I am. It is not what I believe. For you… it is different. Know that there was once a Darth Traya. And that she cast aside that role, was exiled, and found a new purpose. But there must always be a Darth Traya, one that holds the knowledge of betrayal. Who has been betrayed in their heart, and will betray in turn."
―Kreia and Atris[src]
Malachor VEditQuotes from the final showdown with the Exile on Malachor V.

Kreia: "You no doubt have many questions. I would be a poor teacher if I did not give you the answers you seek here, now."
The Exile: "Why did you destroy Atris?"
Kreia: "I never destroyed Atris—she had destroyed herself. I merely stripped away the illusion, and brought her truth. Her teachings could not be allowed to continue. And like Malachor, she was part of your past, unresolved. She needed to be something you could confront—and defeat, one last time. It was part of your training. Part of what was needed to make you complete. And there must always be a Darth Traya. The galaxy needs its betrayers, especially in the times to come. She loved you, you know, as one loves a champion. You were all that she could not be"
The Exile: "She never mentioned such feelings."
Kreia: "Yes… It is all that is left unsaid upon which tragedies are built."
―Kreia answers the Exile on Atris' fall to the dark side[src]
"Yes, always. From the moment you awoke, I have used you. I have used you so that you might become strong, stronger than I. I used you to keep the Lords of the Sith from condemning the galaxy to death with their power unchecked. I used you to lure them to Telos, where they could be, at last, fought and killed. I used you to reveal Atris' corruption, so that her teachings could be ended before they began. I used you to gather the Jedi so they could be destroyed. And I used you to make those who wounded me reveal themselves, so they could be killed by the Republic."
―Kreia admits her manipulations — Listen (file info)[src]
"Perhaps you were expecting some surprise, for me to reveal a secret that had eluded you, something that would change your perspective of events, shatter you to your core. There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you […] In times past and in times future, there are Jedi who will stop listening to the Force, those that will try to forget it, but maintain unconscious ties. And those, as in the past just as I, who have had the Force stripped from them. But no Jedi ever made the choice you did. To sever ties so completely, so utterly, that it leaves a wound in the Force. It was a mistake to try to make you feel it again, I see that now. There is no truth in the Force. But there is truth in you, Exile. And that is why I chose you."
―Kreia explains why she chose the Exile[src]
"You are greater than any I have ever trained. By killing me here—you have rewarded me more than you can possibly know."
―Kreia is defeated[src]
"Revan knew that the true war is not against the Republic. It waits for us beyond the Outer Rim. And he has gone to fight it, in his own way. He left the Ebon Hawk and its machines behind, for he knew he would not need them. And, like you, he knew he must leave all loves behind as well, no matter how deeply one cares for them. Because such attachments are not the way of the Jedi, and they would only bring doom to them both in the dark places where he now walks […] Perhaps you shall go there with him, and do battle at the end of all things. Instead, I remained here… and now show others the way."
―Kreia on Revan[src]
Kreia's predictionsEditThe Exile's followersEdit

"Perhaps there will be no new age, Mandalore, no great Mandalorian crusade. Perhaps your people fought their last battle at Malachor V, and you have been dying ever since, a quiet death that will last centuries. And perhaps all that remains will be what I see before me: a man, wounded by a Jedi, encased in a Mandalorian shell, haunted by the thought of being the last of the Mandalorians."
―Kreia to Mandalore[src]
"They will die a death that will last millennia, until all that remains is their code, their history, and in the end, the shell of their armor upon the shell of a man, too easily slain by Jedi."
―Kreia predicts the future of the Mandalorians to Jedi Exile[src]
Atton Rand

"Atton is, as always, the fool. And the Force watches out for ones such as him, I feel."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile on Atton Rand's future — Listen (file info)[src]
Canderous Ordo

"Many battles does that one have left in him... as Revan intended. A general needs an army, as he needs those he trusts. And Canderous is a loyal beast, no matter how much he is broken upon Revan's will."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile on Canderous Ordo's future — Listen (file info)[src]

"If she leaves this place, she will leave battle behind her … in no small part due to your influence. She will take Atris' role as historian, and teach others of the Jedi exile who gave up the Force … and became stronger for it."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile on Brianna's future[src]

"If he leaves this place, he will leave the galaxy behind him. He will sit upon the new Council, reluctantly, as all good men do, and he will not forget the Jedi who had lost the Force, yet showed him the way to reclaim it."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile on Mical's future[src]

"She will stop hunting life, and instead, live it. She was not born to be a predator, despite her true father and the life she led within the shadow of Nar Shaddaa. She will miss you and think of you often. You, who awakened her to what life is. She will live … but only for a time. Her death will occur in many years' time on a forgotten planet, saving the lives of others. But it will be her choice, and she will have no regrets."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile on Mira's future[src]
Visas Marr

"The blinded one shall return to her homeworld, and she shall look upon the surface of that world and perhaps at last see what she was meant to see. Her life has been changed by your meeting, in ways that may not be felt for decades to come."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile on Visas Marr's future[src]
"Dantooine shall survive. The community you saved shall be the foundation upon which Dantooine shall be habitable again. They shall drive back the raiders, the Mandalorians, and all that strike at the Outer Rim. The Republic shall again establish their presence there, and shield it with its forces … And Dantooine shall heal, be safe, and its skies free. The ruins of the academy shall remain."
―Kreia to Jedi Exile on the future of Dantooine[src]
"Korriban shall be as it always was. A graveyard for the darkest of the Sith Lords, still whispering within their tombs. It shall always be a source of evil, spawning threats throughout the millennia. It, like Malachor, brushes the edges of the empire that waits in the dark. And like Malachor, the Sith have forgotten it … for a time. They will remember. Revan knew this."
―Kreia on the future of Korriban[src]
"Nar Shaddaa shall persist as it always has, but there will be a heart to the world where there was nothing before. Where once the lost and disposed were trapped there, now they will struggle and grow. From despair shall come hope."
―Kreia on the future of Nar Shaddaa[src]
"Queen Talia shall have a long reign, much good will come of it. She will, as she has, rule wisely and well. Onderon shall remain in the Republic, and the world shall prosper, though its people shall, over time, lose their customs in the ocean of the Republic and become the people of Onderon no longer."
―Kreia on the future of Queen Talia and Onderon[src]
"Under the care of the herds of Ithor, the surface of Telos will bloom again, and its golden fields shall again harbor scientists and thinkers. And complacent and peaceful, it shall forget the time that Saul Karath orbited it and brought fire to its skies. But it shall be a homeworld again to others, who will stretch out across the galaxy and bring life."
―Kreia on the recovery of Telos at the hands of the Ithorians after the Sith attack[src]
Quotes about KreiaEdit"She's lucky she's a Jedi, or someone would've killed her years ago."
―Atton Rand[src]
"Just so you Jedi know, the whole 'cryptic routine' isn't mysterious, it's just irritating. If you really can see the future, you should be at the pazaak table."
―Atton Rand[src]
"Then she must be royalty, because she's got to be Queen of the Galaxy to bark out orders like that. Or maybe she's senile. I mean, how old do you think she is? She may have been good-looking once, but it takes some hard living to make creases like that."
―Atton Rand[src]
"If she looks good to you, you must have taken a blaster hit when I wasn't looking."
―Jedi Exile to Atton Rand[src]
"Good-looking? Are you that desperate?"
―Jedi Exile to Atton Rand[src]
"She will destroy you..."
―Bao-Dur to Jedi Exile[src]
―Brianna to Kreia[src]

Jedi Exile: "I believe it's called Pulling a Bindo"
Brianna: "Pulling...a Bindo?"
Jedi Exile: "Sorry, bad joke, bald man, long story..."
―Brianna and the Jedi Exile[src]

"Assemble the rest of your clan. You will return to Dxun."
―Canderous to a group of Mandalorian mercenaries[src]
"I've fought countless battles–ones most didn't walk away from. The wounds add up–and even the implants are all that keeps me going sometimes. I may have been stronger in my youth–and stupider–but now I've got to rely more on my armor, my weapons, and my cunning."
―Canderous to the Jedi Exile[src]
"Many battles does that one have left in him... as Revan intended. A general needs an army, as he needs those he trusts. And Canderous is a loyal beast, no matter how much he is broken upon Revan's will."
―Darth Traya — Listen (file info)[src]
"You're not the only ones with stealth generators here, Sith scum. ."
―Canderous to a group of sith assassins on board the Ravager[src]

"Observation: Well, master, I was not at Malachor V during your near-genocidal reaction to the Mandalorian threat, but I feel that I may have been constructed as a result of that.
Observation: I believe that Revan determined that mass slaughter on such a scale may no longer be needed to achieve his aims. So perhaps you are responsible for my creation."
―HK-47, to the Jedi Exile[src]
"Query: Is there someone that you need killed, master?"
―HK-47's standard greeting to the Jedi Exile[src]
"Malachor V was an impressive act of destruction, but its impact on the lives of others in the galaxy was far more extreme. I mean, master, you brought about the death of the Mandalorian race. I doubt they realize it yet, but you dealt them a blow from which they will never recover."
―HK-47 to the Jedi Exile[src]
"Statement: HK-47 is ready to serve, master. Observation: Notice that I did not ask if you need anyone killed. You may be curious as to why. Answer: That is because you told me to stop asking if you needed anyone killed. So I have. From now on, I will simply say, "I am ready to serve." Yes, ready to serve. In whatever way a common protocol or utility droid might serve. It seems that is my lot in life. Not to kill."
"Statement: Apathy is death."
―A vision of HK-47 on Korriban — Listen (file info)[src]
"Twi'lek Metaphor: It seems like they are attracted to you like krek beetles during the Bright Land seasons."
―HK-47 in regards to the inordinate number of beings who want to kill the Jedi Exile[src]
"Answer: Assassination protocols? As in the premeditated killing of another for personal or economic gain? Surely master is joking with his humble, peace-loving droid. I exist only to serve and learn how to serve meatbags."
―HK-47, after the Exile installs the Protocol Pacifist Package[src]
"Answer: Oh, master, I could not allow myself to harm another. What if they have families? Or children? We must always think of the children. The littlest ones always suffer in war."
―HK-47, after the Exile installs the Protocol Pacifist Package[src]
"That was a close one - I almost surrendered completely to peace and pacifism - how repugnant. Conclusion: Still there was a brief moment where I felt like I almost understood why some meatbags choose peace and friendship over a high-powered blaster carbine. Query: Now, are there any other horrors you wish to try and insert in my system, or is your electronic butchery done?"
―HK-47, after the Exile has removed the Protocol Pacifist Package[src]
"Recitation: Yes, as I said, I am an assassin droid. It is my primary function to burn holes through meatbags that you wish removed from the galaxy... Master. Oh, how I hate that term."
―HK-47 details his functionality — Listen (file info)[src]
"Statement: Oh, yes. My master had quite the collection of tortured individuals that seemed unable to confront their basic personality conflicts. Let me cite some specific examples. [impersonates Carth Onasi] Mockery: "Oh, master, I do not trust you! I cannot trust you or anyone ever again!" [impersonates Bastila Shan] Mockery: "Oh, master, I love you but I hate everything you stand for, but I think we should go press our slimy, mucus-covered lips together in the cargo hold!" Conclusion: Such pheromone-driven Human responses never cease to decrease the charge in my capacitors and make me wish I could press a blaster pistol to my behavior core and pull the trigger. I am pleased that this does not seem to be the case with your current entourage."
―HK-47 describes his prior owner[src]
"Answer: My 'feelings' on the matter are something that I feel I must put in proper context - in a way that even a meatbag such as yourself could easily comprehend. Theory: Imagine, if you will, that you are unique. The pinnacle of an exiled, cast-out Jedi who can't even use the Force. Imagine that no one has sunk lower than you. That you are truly the most miserable example of a Jedi ever. Continuation: Now that you have that image, imagine this - someone clones you. Badly, I might add. They make the clones talk differently, rob you of any shred of personality, and take your Jedi Code and adjust it so that it is not really the Jedi Code anymore. They even change your pigmentation to a rather poor shade of durasteel, rather than the proper rusty red that inspires fear in targets. And of course, they refer to meatbags as 'organics'. Unacceptable."
―HK-47 on his inferior duplicates[src]
"Clarification: 'Anger' would be an understatement for the heat that builds up in my behavior core when these cheap imitations make their presence felt throughout the galaxy."
―HK-47, about the HK-50s — Listen (file info)[src]
"Answer: Oh, that is impossible, master. If I were out to kill you we would not be speaking."
―HK-47 — Listen (file info)[src]
"Statement: Oh, do shut up, you beeping little trash compactor."
―HK-47 to T3-M4[src]
"There is a faction of meatbags called the Sith. They want what any rational meatbag would want - the power to assassinate anyone they choose at any time."
―HK-47 about the Sith[src]
"It is evident that the Sith would very much like to assassinate all the Jedi. Which is somewhat the equivalent of cultural suicide, since some Sith are Jedi or were Jedi. It is much like the circumstance I find myself in now. How do you kill such an integral part of yourself over such ethical differences?"
"Pain is really the only reliable means by which truth may be obtained. Or so I choose to believe."
"Besides master, quite frankly, the Gu-vandi and L'Xing needed a good war. They were races that relied more on words than actions, and a good, brisk killing woke them from their torpid state."
―HK-47 in regards to the war on Praven Prime — Listen (file info)[src]
"Mockery: Am I all right? Oh yes master, why I am fine. Statement: I mean, I have only just been re-activated, only to find that there are sub-standard duplicates of me running all over the galaxy, corroding my good name!"
―HK-47 upon being reactivated by the Exile — Listen (file info)[src]
"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds."
―HK-47 describes his views on love[src]
"Statement: Master, I am no behavior droid but it is obvious to me that you have serious ethical problems that will need to be treated at some point."
―HK-47 on the Exile's refusal to torture him — Listen (file info)[src]
"Suggestion: Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?"
―HK-47 suggests alternate entertainment[src]
"Statement: Even a droid is allowed some fun once in a while, master."
"Statement: Just when I believe my photoreceptors have recorded the last potential aspect of your cruelty to my memory core, you commit a new atrocity that leaves me analyzing its impact for days."
―HK-47 to a dark-sided Exile[src]
"You are like a delightful random cruelty generator, master, poisoning all you touch with your presence. You are a testament to all organic meatbags everywhere."
―HK-47 to a dark-sided Exile[src]
"Statement: I have already learned a great deal, master, and I am anxious to learn more of lying, betrayal, and new ways to harm innocents."
―HK-47 to a dark-sided Exile[src]
Mira: "Would you please shut him down? He's been like that ever since he arrived. 'Here's how to kill this, here's how to kill that'..."
HK-47: "Correction: Assassination theory and the execution of said theories is my primary function. I also possess excellent hearing."
―Mira and HK-47[src]
"I did not ask for your input, fat one."
―HK-47 to G0-T0[src]
"Query: What is it that you wish, fat one?"
―HK-47 to G0-T0[src]
"Statement: If I require a similar diagnostic in the future, I shall seek out the Iridonian."
―HK-47 to G0-T0[src]
"And while I find this small droid annoying in the extreme, I find my urge to shoot you takes a higher priority.""
―HK-47 to G0-T0 at Malachor V[src]
"Answer: Select grenades, sonic screamers, cluster rockets, and plasma charges. Mines are also effective, since many Jedi will run to meet you in hand to hand combat. Silly Jedi."
―HK-47 to the Exile on how to kill Jedi[src]
"Recitation: First, weapon selection is critical. If I see one more idiot attacking a Jedi with a blaster pistol, then I'll kill them myself."
―HK-47 to the Exile on how to kill Jedi